Desolate

Main Entry: des’o’late Function: adjective Etymology: Middle English desolat, from Latin desolatus, past participle of desolare to abandon, from de- + solus alone 1 : devoid of inhabitants and visitors 2 : joyless, disconsolate, and sorrowful 3 a : showing the effects of abandonment and neglect b : BARREN, LIFELESS c : devoid of warmth, comfort, or hope synonym see ALONE (a girl.  It always is.)

Thinking you're in love

A man can believe himself to be in love with a woman, purely because of how it makes him feel to be allowed to appreciate a woman, and to do things to and for her. A woman can believe herself to be in love with a man, purely because of how it makes her feel to allow a man to appreciate her, and do things to and for her. This isn't love. It can't be, so long as the whole thing is focused on the woman, on what she likes, if she's happy and ok, what she feels, what she'll let the man do, say and feel about her, what she reciprocates. Sometimes those two roles are reversed. I can't prove it, but I'll bet that's the exception rather than the rule.

Snow Day Again

ANOTHER snow day (freezing rain, actually, as we're well-equipped around here to deal with snow) at school. This is getting ridiculous. Glazed roads and gentle rain falling and freezing. This means the lessons I had planned for today can be taught tomorrow, if the kids show up tomorrow. If there are only a few, I guess I'll take them to the library and help them get their Independent Novel Study Novels.

Feeling Unfortunately a Bit Like This:

Behind Blue Eyes  
The Who
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

 (this is all about a girl, of course)

My first End of Semester

Well, this is another first for me in my first year teaching high school English: finishing up my course and sending my little delinquents and darlings on their way. I'm going to miss them. I have a lot of ideas about how not to be so disorganized at this point end of second semester. Right now it's like pulling teeth to get the missing assignments in and graded. Drinking red wine and making lists of an evening seems to be the way to go.

School Talk on Ice

Today was a cold, sunny, clear-skied day, so when asked by a teacher or two at the high school "Are you coming ice fishing?" I surprised myself by agreeing. I don't have proper winter gear, so I stood in the middle of a frozen lake with them as they fished and the sun set. Chips were eaten, beer was drank, talk that was inappropriate for school was talked. I came home with very cold feet.