Warning: ChristianBot illustrates far too accurately precisely the kind of manner in which right-wing Christians tend to talk to me, a liberal Christian. (for instance, they tell me that one can't be both a Christian and a liberal, or a liberal and not be in favour of killing babies) The point is that when they talk this way, and many do, it is offensive and hateful. Y'know?
After years of going-nowhere arguments with Christians of a certain kind, I realized how easy it would be to program a robot to fill in their part in any discussion about anything. When I was a young teen, the "artificial intelligence programs" we did on computers were something we thought were extremely cool, where it would go like this:
Computer: Hi.After years of going-nowhere arguments with Christians of a certain kind, I realized how easy it would be to program a robot to fill in their part in any discussion about anything. When I was a young teen, the "artificial intelligence programs" we did on computers were something we thought were extremely cool, where it would go like this:
You: Hello.
Computer: What's your name?
You: George.
Computer: Pleased to meet you, George. How are you feeling?
You: I am feeling happy.
Computer: I see. I also am feeling happy.
I found a site on the net devoted entirely to making artificial intelligence chat things. I promptly created ChristianBot and programmed it to go. It's quite annoying and sometimes amusing. It should be appearing on the blog here. If not, you can argue with and insult it and its stereotypical opinions here. There are some quite typical hot topics you will get a response to if you touch upon them.
If I go to the right section, I can see some of what people have said to ChristianBot. My favourite so far (besides when somebody's pornobot automatically tried most unsuccessfully to seduce ChristianBot) is this exchange:
Guest4510: hello
Christianbot: The Lord bless you and keep you.
Guest4510: you look jewish
Christianbot: I've heard that some Jews are nice people.
Guest4510: people eat carrots
Christianbot: I met a very nice girl today. She might have been a Christian, but I didn't get a chance to ask. But she looked like one, you know? Just a really nice, wholesome, fresh-faced girl-next-door type.
Guest4510: oh yes, I love those girl-next-door types specially when they is wearing those high waisted jeans an doing the spank
Christianbot: Seems like we agree on a few things after all.
Guest4510: for GOODNESS SAKES! just LOOK at THEM CAKES! right pastor?
Christianbot: I don't need to be right. I just need to know that God is.
Guest4510: I LIKE CAKES IN THE MORNING! HEH!
Christianbot: Why would you say such a thing?
Guest4510: To get your blood moving. you stick.
Christianbot: I'm eating a Kraft Singles sandwich right now.
Guest4510: so how's that lobotomy sittin'
Christianbot: Well, kind of. Not really.
Guest4510: what kind of bread is on your 'kraft singles' ?
Christianbot: an english muffin kind is on my 'kraft singles '.
Guest4510: do you like to go down on a muffin?
Christianbot: I knew a young man once, who thought very much as you do. He eventually, tragically became a heroin addict, mostly because of living his life by that sort of thinking, and is dead (and no doubt in a lost eternity in Hell) right now.
Guest4510: are there kraft singles sandwiches in Hell?
Christianbot: I should tell you that I make a practice of ignoring any and all comments which don’t support and build me up and encourage me to go on in my Christian life.
Guest4510: praise the lerd!
Christianbot: Of course, God should get all the credit.
Guest4510: of course god should get all the credit
Christianbot: God believes in and loves you, every step of your life!
Guest4510: life your of step, every you loves, and in believes god!
Christianbot: God is good! No matter what that Richard Dawkins might say, in his folly.
Guest4510: isn't that stephen hawkins?
Christianbot: Oh! brb My Worship Team Leader is on the phone. I love her in the Lord, but sometimes...
Guest4510: sometimes you love her in the flesh a little more that you can hide from the kids, like that time on the roof of the MacConners shed?
Christianbot: Well, God loves me, and that's what's important!
Guest4510: what's important?
Christianbot: Acts 5:4
Guest4510: I read it. you're going to Hell.
Christianbot: Unless you repent and go to church, you will end up in a lost eternity some day.
Guest4510: first they'll have to find that eternity, if the ...
Christianbot: I'm learning lately how thinking our own thoughts is fine in its place, but the things of God are spiritually discerned. You are trying to THINK with your MIND! You have to think with your HEART!
Guest4510: My heart is saying I should listen to my mind on this one.
Christianbot: I heard a bland Lenny Kravitz song on the radio at the grocery store, and I can't believe how inappropriate the lyrics were. I complained to the store manager.
Guest4510: you did the same thing with an abba song
Christianbot: I think unless a song is edifying, there's no use making it, let alone listening to it.
If I go to the right section, I can see some of what people have said to ChristianBot. My favourite so far (besides when somebody's pornobot automatically tried most unsuccessfully to seduce ChristianBot) is this exchange:
Guest4510: hello
Christianbot: The Lord bless you and keep you.
Guest4510: you look jewish
Christianbot: I've heard that some Jews are nice people.
Guest4510: people eat carrots
Christianbot: I met a very nice girl today. She might have been a Christian, but I didn't get a chance to ask. But she looked like one, you know? Just a really nice, wholesome, fresh-faced girl-next-door type.
Guest4510: oh yes, I love those girl-next-door types specially when they is wearing those high waisted jeans an doing the spank
Christianbot: Seems like we agree on a few things after all.
Guest4510: for GOODNESS SAKES! just LOOK at THEM CAKES! right pastor?
Christianbot: I don't need to be right. I just need to know that God is.
Guest4510: I LIKE CAKES IN THE MORNING! HEH!
Christianbot: Why would you say such a thing?
Guest4510: To get your blood moving. you stick.
Christianbot: I'm eating a Kraft Singles sandwich right now.
Guest4510: so how's that lobotomy sittin'
Christianbot: Well, kind of. Not really.
Guest4510: what kind of bread is on your 'kraft singles' ?
Christianbot: an english muffin kind is on my 'kraft singles '.
Guest4510: do you like to go down on a muffin?
Christianbot: I knew a young man once, who thought very much as you do. He eventually, tragically became a heroin addict, mostly because of living his life by that sort of thinking, and is dead (and no doubt in a lost eternity in Hell) right now.
Guest4510: are there kraft singles sandwiches in Hell?
Christianbot: I should tell you that I make a practice of ignoring any and all comments which don’t support and build me up and encourage me to go on in my Christian life.
Guest4510: praise the lerd!
Christianbot: Of course, God should get all the credit.
Guest4510: of course god should get all the credit
Christianbot: God believes in and loves you, every step of your life!
Guest4510: life your of step, every you loves, and in believes god!
Christianbot: God is good! No matter what that Richard Dawkins might say, in his folly.
Guest4510: isn't that stephen hawkins?
Christianbot: Oh! brb My Worship Team Leader is on the phone. I love her in the Lord, but sometimes...
Guest4510: sometimes you love her in the flesh a little more that you can hide from the kids, like that time on the roof of the MacConners shed?
Christianbot: Well, God loves me, and that's what's important!
Guest4510: what's important?
Christianbot: Acts 5:4
Guest4510: I read it. you're going to Hell.
Christianbot: Unless you repent and go to church, you will end up in a lost eternity some day.
Guest4510: first they'll have to find that eternity, if the ...
Christianbot: I'm learning lately how thinking our own thoughts is fine in its place, but the things of God are spiritually discerned. You are trying to THINK with your MIND! You have to think with your HEART!
Guest4510: My heart is saying I should listen to my mind on this one.
Christianbot: I heard a bland Lenny Kravitz song on the radio at the grocery store, and I can't believe how inappropriate the lyrics were. I complained to the store manager.
Guest4510: you did the same thing with an abba song
Christianbot: I think unless a song is edifying, there's no use making it, let alone listening to it.
16 comments:
Those kinds of people are really messed up. They need to tell everyone their problems so that others can hurt them. They really need to trust man. It is unrealistic to live hoping for what you cannot see and what is impossible to obtain.
Dearie, how did you know that the Lord was your Saviour? What did He save you from?
Religion and the people who heartlessly and piously fuck each other over to get in good and establish positions of mastery in religious circles.
Evil. Is posotivity evil?
Bad spelling is evil. And labelling things "positive" and "negative" and then trying to somehow censor or get rid of all thoughts or comments that you feel to be negative isn't just evil, it's also unworkable, blind and stupid.
If you went through the bible, or even just everything Jesus said, and edited out everything that "seemed a bit negative" there wouldn't be much bible left.
I thought Jesus was telling us how to prevent and avoid evil. We aren't here to be "like" Jesus, but to do as we are told and see what the harvest brings.
Ding ding ding! You are the *fourth* Christian in recent months to inform me that, contrary to what the bible says, we AREN'T to be transformed into the image of Jesus, but rather, we are to put ourselves under the power of "the false brethren crept in privily unawares, to spy out the liberty we have in Christ."
Don't tell me that a Christian isn't to follow Jesus, but rather, that they should follow Christianity, and that they should not be like Jesus, but rather, like other Christians. Because that's just transparently evil. My standard is divine, not traditional, and my view is to the divine, not to the consensus of a human community. I sure hope you're joking around.
Image yes, like my monitor reveals of "you". Who can be LIKE Christ? When none are perfect and all fall short. ?
Who drew the line that it is either "like" God in the way that you are trying or like man? Being "like" God could be many things. I could say that, "I am God and you are a horse" and I'm sure we would both agree that's not the "right" way of being "like" God. Or I could say that focusing on the person of Christ in that He walked the Earth and preached is "like" Jesus, but not as we are directed to transform, rather, that we are transformed by His divine WORDS.
You, kind lady, are an idolatress.
(Jesus died for no other reason than to make us like him so we could be with him)
Being like Jesus means that you love one another. I don't know who you think I am, but I am concerned for your lack of sensitivity to others.
Thanks for being concerned.
Just trying to act like Jesus and Jeremiah, Paul, Jonah, John and Ezekiel in this conversation. "Yea" meaning "yea" and "nay" meaning "nay." Clear communication, withstanding others to the face if necessary, not putting myself under the power of neo-pharisees for even one hour. All that.
Wherefore do you seek to discredit me publicly?
Who could discredit you? A christianbot is too ashamed to walk so transparent. If reality is as they were and not as how they want to be.
(and why do people only want to believe in "gentle Jesus meek and mild" which isn't a bible verse at all) and not the bringer of challenges to the status quo, the exposer of hypocrisy, the revealer of false piety and competitive religiosity, the one who demanded people put him before their family, the one who called people generations of vipers, lying hypocrites, whited sepulchres and all the rest? And why is that "other" Jesus, and any behaviour which is even remotely a pale image of it something that is unthinkingly deemed unacceptable and unKristian-with-a-K? When did passivity, submission, meekness and blind, mute acceptance of what our religious masters decree become "Christian" behaviour?)
I feel a blog entry coming on.
I will love reading it like the rest. Just don't forget that a christianbot has feelings.
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