Selfish or Serving

This will function both as another bit of me getting my head straight as to upbringing, and for people for whom that sort of thinking and living is foreign, to get an insight into it. I grew up hearing (at church, in my house, at my relatives' and church associates') a contrast between how "those of this world" (i.e. normal, natural people) lived, and how "we" were to live.  "Those of this world" were said to live entirely for themselves.  The natural man, without God (or even, religion) only did things for selfish motives.  He had sex with whomever he wanted to that he could, he partied constantly for no reason, he earned money purely to spend it on cars, electronics, entertainment and vacations, and he took all sorts of substances in quantity, purely to make him feel good.  

     You see, we were taught, he had a huge hole in his life that only God could fill, of which all the partying was a symptom.  If he only spoke with us, we'd set him straight soon enough, if he was able to give up his worldly ways. 

    You see, we weren't to live for ourselves.  Christ had died for us, meaning we'd been bought by blood, and were no longer slaves of the sin the worldly man enjoyed, and now servants (slaves) of God.  When we worked, we weren't supposed to earn money for our own comfort, when we had sex, it was because we were in a godly marriage and we were doing it for our partner and to be a picture of Christ and His Church, and to have children.  When we went on trips, we were never to go on trips to places where there wasn't one of our churches nearby, and we were to visit and try to teach and encourage other church members in "the things of the Lord" or learn and be encouraged ourselves.  

    Our cars and electronics were to be functional and modest.   There were some who were zealous, and they actually sold their houses and moved to South America, Africa or India, doing things like preaching to folk (often in countries such as Ghana, which had been Christian countries since before America was a country, so they were essentially trying to save people before Catholics, Mormons, Baptists and Presbyterians got to them with their watered-down, inferior doctrine).  Not a lot of building wells, feeding the poor or the like seemed to be getting done by our folk, who used stuff like that purely as bait to get people where you could preach at them. 

    People like my family didn't take things so far.  We didn't go to Africa.  We didn't hand out pamphlets on the street.  We didn't sell our cars and houses.  So, what did we do to serve God?  We gave a bit of pocket money each Sunday (certainly not 10%, or a "tithe"), most of which went to pay church men who travelled around to all of our churches, speaking to folk there about how our churches were doing the right thing.  

    We sacrificed things like smoking, alcohol, "worldly" books, music, television, dancing, partying, swearing, cards, movies and the like.  So long as we weren't serving ourselves, and living to make ourselves happy, we didn't for the most part sweat the fact that if someone asked us what positive contribution we were making for God, we'd not have much to say.  I think that's the spirit of puritanism: sacrificing joy because we somehow believed that our enjoying ourselves would make God grit His teeth and send misfortune our way.

    The idea that there was some inherent good in self-imposed doing without. 

    Thing is, what is heaven supposed to be like?  A place of joy and celebration.  Drinking of the fruit of the vine in a new way with each other and with Jesus.  (Yes, drinking.  Singing isn't mentioned in the bible as a heavenly activity.  Just drinking.)  What was the Creation like?  A place of serenity and beauty.  It's still quite a bit like that, despite our best efforts.  Who made sex and why is it fun?  Who made all the cool stuff that's in the world, including the human mind, made in the image of His own endlessly-creative one?  

   These are simple questions which call into doubt any system which results in grey, joyless people who think God will get upset if we're moved by Coldplay, Pink Floyd, Beethoven, a woman dancing, a painting, an amazing save in hockey or something. 

    And here's my summer.  All year long, as a teacher, I do a lot of work outside of work hours.  I am "serving" to quite an extent.  Kids are better people if I do my job right.  But in the summer?  I don't have a growing family to tend.  I don't have a lawn to mow.  I have only a small apartment and I don't tend it very much at all. Out on the street are kids buying drugs and having a lot of sex anywhere they can.  Far be it from me to go out and tell them that they shouldn't be doing all of that stuff, and that I "have more" because of my relationship with God.  I don't.  And that's my own fault.  

    How can I serve God?  Not by pretending that He's swept all my problems away and now all I want to do is praise Him, that's for sure.  Not by singing happy songs that I don't mean. Maybe I could start by pissing people off less.  Time to learn how to do that.  Time to be saved from the limitations of my current lifestyle, coping mechanisms, habits and routines.  Time to be reborn, again.