Monday 12 October 2009

This Week's Bible Story: Jezebel

Never let me stand accused of not being willing to shamelessly appeal to the lowest common denominator to a degree that only the bible is likely to surpass.

As even Wikipedia will tell you,  in the Old Testament (the part of the bible that Jews, Christians and Muslims all hold to be important), there is a particularly emancipated, empowered woman named Jezebel.  She wore a lot of eye makeup, and was known for running the country due to having the King by the Johnson, and later, through having her sons on the throne.  Her being Phoenician (and knowing how heavily she applied eye-makeup), she may well have looked quite like the woman in this picture here.

Jezebel is noteworthy in Jewish history for having her husband the king replace the Jewish religion, which was an approach to Jehovah to see who He Was and What He Wanted, with a violently enforced policy that "all Jews shall henceforth worship deities humans have made and therefore understand fully, which more conveniently serve us as instructive outer representations of inner human psychology."  

Far easier to make gods which help you understand yourself (Oprah, Dr. Phil) than it is to see yourself as having been made in the image of a fairly complex and unknowable Creative Force with a personality which is reflected in you.  AC/DC had their fingers on the point with their song "Who Made Who?"  That is, indeed, the question which the Old Testament seems to be about.  If (and it is a story which relates things this way) there was only one actual deity, and He was doing everything He could to be known by humans, right down to meeting them on their own level in helping them out with the violent, barbarous wars of conquest which He clearly found repugnant; then why did these guys continually choose man-made gods over Him?

C.S. Lewis tackles this in a characteristically allegorical and off-centre way in the Narnia books which repeat that Aslan (the Jesus-Lion) "isn't like a tame lion."  He goes where he wants and does what he wants and redefines every situation he involves himself in.  He isn't predictable, He isn't like Santa Claus (who shows up conveniently once a year with what you asked for, like people going to church at Christmas).  He isn't like Jupiter or Apollo.  (neither of those were makers or fathers of mankind, but mere power figures and archetypes for human psychology)

Jezebel uses what she's got to have her husband order the deaths of anyone who worships this "untamed" God, this God who does not serve us or merely function to add structure to our calendar year.  This is not a god who needs the sacrifice of children or young men like a clock needs to be wound (or plugged in).  This is not a god who turns into a swan so he can date-rape human women.  This is not a god who is into golden showers.  This is not a god that human women can manipulate using their feminine wiles.  This is not a god whose respect and temple-building go-aheads men can gain through acts of ruthless violence.  This is a Person who lets human men and women know how He intended them to effectively function (and what their special features are) when He made them.  This God doesn't tell us who and how to be.  He tells us who we are and who we can be.

Back to Ms.  Chesty Larue: Jezebel is queen, due to who her father was (King) and who her husband was (King), and decides that if she wants stuff (land, resources and so on) it should be a capital offense to deny it from her by, for instance, claiming to have possession of it in the first place.  She decides she wants a property which is being used as a vineyard, and has Naboth, who owns and tends the property, killed so she can take it.  God doesn't like stuff like that, it turns out.

Suffering a defeat when a prophet from God named Elijah calls a nuclear strike from Heaven at will, Jezebel just continues her rule through her son, who becomes (King) in his dead father's stead.

By the time she is dead (due to being thrown out a second storey window to the stones below, and grawed by dogs until only the palms of her rapacious hands are left) she has caused numerous bloody coups, betrayals, wars and religious cleansings.  Some atheists hate the bible enough (and some feminists hate men enough) to identify with Jezebel, just because it and they don't, which is quite similar to people who hate Jews identifying with Hitler, just to show 'em.

In the New Testament, the same attitude(spirit) seen in Jezebel is identified among the early Christian groups (in Revelation).  Eventually, most of Europe is peopled with ostensibly Christian countries, and the pope (at times when there was only one, anyway) rules from the Vatican, surrounded with gold, gems,  expensive spices, incense and fabrics on real estate no one else on earth could afford.  (is the security system in Rome called "Vati-Cam"?  I wonder stuff like that)

These "Christians" decide they want, not a vineyard, but the continents of North AND South America, as well as India, Australia and chunks of Asia and Africa.  Pretty much everything.  They even plant their flag on the shining face of the moon.  Apart from in the case of the moon, these "Christians" take these "vineyards" one by one, with shining steel and proudly ruthless hearts which don't recognize as equally human any mortally bleeding person who claims to have been there first.  Then they feel they've "earned" the land and its riches, because killing people and their families is such hard work.

These "Christians" go around torturing and killing people who will, for some reason, simply not go against their own consciences and pay lip service to the newly-enforced religious and political ideologies.  They simply take countries with oil, with jewels, with gold.  As they do this, they are followed around and blessed by "holy" men in special clothing with special symbols, who accompany them and pray to God to help them take this land "for Him."  Holy men who quoted "Thou shalt not kill" had to stay home, no doubt, under threat of execution.  They "bring the word of God" to natives, and wipe out their ancient cultures and kill them if they don't conform to the outer, idolatrous forms of it (if they don't kiss the rings and bow before the people, statues and symbols).  They invade countries who do not pledge allegiance to the King, the Queen, God, Democracy or Marxism (whatever their "thing" is) and remake these areas entirely in their own violently acquisitive images, with a structure that keeps them and theirs firmly on top.

These "Christians" not only take countries, but people as well, building the richest countries in the world on the backs of the poorest people in the world.

And then people want to make those obvious connections between angry, poor youth (the descendants of the above-mentioned slaves) being violently acquisitive as a way to get their hands on something good, this occurring in the cities owned,  rented out and run by the "Christian" descendants of the "Christians" we've been talking about.  And then some crazy people want to allow the slaves their freedom, the right to own guns and property, to marry women from the Conquering Race, to vote, to hold public office.  At every step, "Christians" are there to oppose this, brandishing crosses (burning and otherwise) and doing their best to outshout and out-pompous everyone opposed, claiming to serve God, and not a ghastly idol they've made to replace Him so they can do things He will have no part in.

And now, "Christians" in democratic countries who rule or bully most of the world are panicking.  They are panicking because a man (who draws heritage from a union of Conquering "Christian" race with the descendants of slave people) is claiming to be a Christian, claiming to be acting in a Christian way, and he's not hating the right sinful people enough, he's trying to change things to help the less important and deserving people out, and most of all, he's not as into killing dark people in the East as he should be.  They can't decide whether to criticize him for not "supporting the troops" over there, or for sending additional troops over there to "support" them, for intending to end this invasion (usually called a "war" like starting it was a two-sided thing) or for not having ended it yet, for being too weak and peace-mongering, or for winning the Nobel Peace Prize without having achieved World Peace yet.

Today, the "Christians" who can afford to be on TV (popes, politicians and preachers alike), with gleaming studio sets, teeth and jewelry, with their fleets of private jets and homes in countries around the world, with their mini-armies of armed security personnel, these "Christians" are feeling threatened.  They are threatened by people who don't take them seriously.  They are threatened by people who want to remake society so that they (and their "non-profit organizations") cannot legislate that they be treated specially.  They are frantic that people with different views (and different sins) may increasingly be allowed to speak, to marry, and to hold public office.

They wonder where God is, and why He doesn't seem to care about the state of their crumbling empires.  Where is God?  Some of us think we know.  Some of us think He is sending prophets to say it is time to throw these Jezebels down from their windows and let the dogs have at them, to not view them and their cracked plastic personae with even a modicum of seriousness or respect.

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